Commendations
by SapphFrost
Summary: "I wish I could love. But I seem to have lost the passion and forgotten the desire. I am too much concentrated on myself. My own personality has become a burden to me." -Oscar Wilde (Reyes thought maybe, just maybe the world had stopped taking everything from him. That he could keep this one thing... He should've known better. Pre-Canon)


_"I wish I could love. But I seem to have lost the passion and forgotten the desire. I am too much concentrated on myself. My own personality has become a burden to me."_ -Oscar Wilde (He thought maybe, just maybe the world had stopped taking everything from him. That he could keep this one thing... He should've known better.)

"Gabe? Gabe! C'mon Gabe, _say_ something!"

The desperate voice triggers something deep that pierces through a haze of pain that had enveloped Reyes's mind and he snaps his eyes open, sucking in a ragged breath before immediately going into a severe coughing fit. Gabriel leans forward, darkly-gloved hand coming up as his shoulders shake and his body contorts painfully with heavy, wet coughs that wrack his frame. Reyes is going blue in the lips and light-headed from oxygen deprivation when he finally stops, and looks down at the blood spattered largely across his hand. He tastes it in his mouth, thick and heavily metallic.

"Gabe?" The voice again, that familiar voice, strong and steady, even as it seems positively laden with concern. "Just hang in there, ok? You are going to be alright..."

" _Shit_ ," Reyes hisses under his breath, using the sleeve of his slate grey jacket to wipe the blood from his lips. He sucks in shallow, erratic breaths between gritted teeth, every one sending stabbing pains through his chest, and turns his gaze up. Jack is crouched over him, one hand pressing a large swath of red-stained gauze to his chest, the other it seems is cradling his head. His staff sergeant's rifle lays abandoned by his side, and Reyes can't begin to guess where his shotguns are.

"Just focus on breathing, Gabe. Angela is on her way. Ana's clearing a path," Jack explains softly, obviously trying to keep the badly injured man calm.

"Wouldn't _have_ to if you'd just let me do my job in the _first_ place!" The hot-headed Egyptian sharpshooter spits at Reyes over her shoulder from where she stands, on the second floor terrace of the building above them.

Gabriel tenses, and actually manages to shove himself half-way into sitting up with a snarl before his breath catches in his throat and he is thrown into another agonizing coughing fit. This time, he can feel each and every metal shard and fragment lodged in the tattered mess of his chest, and the searing pain that races down his back with every single body-wracking cough. When the Overwatch team leader can open his eyes again, he sees two blue eyes staring back at him, wide with concern in his friend's young face.

"I've got you covered, my friends!" Reinhardt can be heard bellowing out nearby. Reyes cranes his head around slowly, hearing his vertebrae grind and pop as he does so, and only now does it begin to click in his mind, the sharp pain in his back and the way Jack is carefully bracing his neck.

Still, he can't remember precisely what happened, which is definitely cause for concern, but he doesn't let himself panic. Gabriel tries to keep calm, even out his breathing, and ignore the pain which is fogging up his brain.

"What happened?" Reyes demands in a heavy rasp, voice harsh with pain that he's doing a pretty _damn_ good job of managing, all things considered.

For a moment, a whole new kind of concern darkens Jack's eyes, but it seems he rapidly dismisses it in favour of gently responding. "An Omnic was hiding off to the side down a narrow alley. Rushed us with a pair of live grenades. Reinhardt's shield was down so you threw yourself at it."

That explained the shrapnel in his chest, then, Gabriel decides. Still, he knows Jack is holding something back.

Reyes shifts slightly in order to peer at his blood-splattered hand, resting in the junction of his thigh and hip just barely in his view, and flexes his hand slowly, reassured by the action. Unfortunately, he doesn't have long to dwell on it. Jack jerks about, and it takes him a moment to recognize what his friend has already identified. Reinhardt's shield sounds like it is cracking. Ana mutters a curse in Arabic, and distantly he hears her sniper rifle crack loudly above them. Gabriel sucks in a harsh breath that sounds too-loud in his ears, compared to the increasingly-dulled sounds of the world around him descending into chaos.

Reinhardt shouts, a mixture of battle cry and warning, and grunts with effort. Reyes can't see him, but he imagines the older German hurling an orb of energy at a cluster of Omnics. Jack grabs his rifle and turns to give the trigger a couple of controlled squeezes, laying out precise clusters of bullets. Ana picks her targets with clean precision, taking them out with an expediency that easily makes her one of the most feared agents of Overwatch.

All these sounds, though, Gabriel hears as though through thick earmuffs-like he's just consumed _way_ too much alcohol, and the sounds are all blurring into a faint collation of noise. He sees his vision fade so he shoves an elbow underneath himself, trying to sit up-not the smartest idea, but he's not at all willing to go down when his friends so badly need him! Reyes's head swims and he feels himself sway, but despite this he tries to spot a weapon. He gets as far as turning away from Jack before his vision blacks out and he feels himself fall over. The spotty blackness reaches for him, and he catches a glimpse of something bright white and gold with wings - 'angel' his brain supplies, and he scoffs at his own idiocy - moving towards him before the lights go out entirely...

/

When Reyes wakes again, he knows he's in the infirmary. The quiet, steady beeping of the EKG and the sterile, harsh smell of disinfectant is enough to tell him that, even before he opens his eyes. It's the pain, though, that wakes him up, the kind of pain that drugs can only suppress for so long. It's the kind of pain that might make any man whimper, but Gabriel has endured the likes of it before, on more occasions than he'd like to recount, so all it does is draw a groan from his aching chest.

He hears rapid footsteps near his door which only creaks a little as it swings open, but the weight and tone behind the footsteps aren't familiar. Reyes pries one eyelid open to spot a young-looking nurse peering into his room. She squeaks, and stammers out something about 'Ziegler' before disappearing. Gabriel resigns himself to wait impatiently for Overwatch's angel. He knows that Angela is busy, but he only remembers bits and pieces of what happened, and he needs to know the status of his team.

The Overwatch team leader only has to wait a few moments before the door opens again, this time shoved open by quick, anxious movements. Mercy appears in the doorway, and even though he can't see her too well, he notices the graze on her cheek. She looks otherwise unscathed, though, clean and in her doctor's coat instead of the Valkyrie suit. Angela rushes towards him, heels clicking rapidly, and Reyes notices Jack following behind her, looking a bit more roughed up, a pair of sutures holding together a cut across his cheek. He moves stiffly, but looks just as cleaned up as the Doctor.

"Gabe, how are you feeling?" Angela asks quickly, sapphire eyes alight with concern. She reaches out to gently touch his forearm.

"Like hell," Gabriel responds darkly, throat dry and raspy but at least he doesn't feel like coughing. That means he's no longer drowning in his own blood. Yay. "But hey," he adds, a little softer. "That's what happens when you jump on a pair of grenades."

"You had us all worried," Jack puts in, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. Reyes isn't a touchy-feely kind of person, but he allows both of his friends this for now. Once he's got some strength back he'll be back to his usual self again, all cold indifference and callus wit.

"What happened after I passed out? Think I saw Angela, but I don't remember anything else," he questions, needing some answers. Neither of his friends look particularly worn-out, so he's been unconscious a little while, clearly. The pain in his chest is slowly eroding his patience, though, and he needs someone to tell him what the hell happened out there.

"Angela arrived just in time, with McCree and Genji. Reinhardt's shield had just gone down, and I didn't know how we were going to get out of there. I had Ana keep the pressure off of us while Angela took over looking after you-" Reyes growls, clenching his teeth together and feeling several stitches pull taught across the right side of his cheek. He lessens the gesture just slightly, but his brows dip down a little more severely. Jack, unwilling to test the ire of his best friend, rushes on with his explanation. "I ordered Genji to flank the attacking force, with McCree backing me up in defense while Reinhardt recharged his shield. We all got a little banged up but eventually we drove the enemy back and were able to pull out ourselves. We got you to the infirmary, here, as fast as we could once Angela stabilized you..."

"And the situation with the GOD AI?" Gabriel presses, now trying to use his elbow to lever himself upright a little more. Shooting pain races up from the base of his spine, and his chest feels like it's just been stabbed with a hundred little knives. The soldier slams his eyes shut, gasping before he grinds his teeth together. His breath comes in short, ragged gulps, the EKG beeps rapidly in the background, and he hears Mercy and Jack both trying to calm him. The stitches in his lip have torn and he tastes blood all over again, but the only thing he focuses on is slowing his breathing and forcing his body to relax. Whatever injuries he's sustained react better when he's calm and relaxed and _not trying to move_ so that's what he's going to do.

Finally, after what feels like ages, Reyes gets his breathing under control, and can compartmentalize the pain enough to focus on the world around him. Opening his eyes again, he sees Angela standing next to the IV bag beside to his bed, her thumb on the control panel that feeds a steady stream of morphine into his system. She's got it about as high as she can safely give him without risking accidentally killing him. Jack still has his hand on his shoulder, brows furrowed deeply with concern as he leans in close to his best friend.

"Gabe...?" the other soldier prompts gently.

" _Fuck_ ," Reyes growls under his breath, taking in another breath before his dark eyes flick back over to Angela. "Doc, what the _hell_ happened?"

He does his best not to snarl at her, or show the anxiety he feels coiling around his chest, but he doesn't miss the way she flinches a little before squaring her shoulders, her expression going soft and gentle. He's seen that expression on her face too many times when she's giving other people bad news. His gaze sharpens enough that she hesitates, drawing back a little like she's been cut.

He tries again, this time with a little less growling. "Doc, tell me what happened," Reyes orders firmly.

"The explosion peppered you with shrapnel. But it had additional consequences. Jack tells me you were blown back, where you collided with a doorway. Your spine has suffered heavy bruising which may take some time to heal," Mercy explains gently, trying to let her patient know that this was not the end of the world. "You'll be on your feet again shortly, Gabriel."

"And in the meantime?" Reyes demands, knowing the good doctor well enough by now to know when she's deliberately not saying something.

Angela exhales heavily, and he doesn't miss how her shoulders slump. "Gabriel... please. You have been in a coma for a week. Can't you just-"

"A _week_ -?!" The soldier demands harshly, leaning forward as much as he dares. His chest protests, _very_ _painfully_ , but he just hisses under his breath, staring at Angela for a long moment before turning on Jack, who is trying to gently push him back into the pillows. "A week?!" Reyes demands of his staff sergeant.

"Easy, Gabe, easy... It's alright. We took care of the AI. It's shackled and under quarantine. You don't have to worry about anything. We're all fine," Morrison tells him, clearly seeking to reassure his friend of every worry he possibly can.

"You just worry about getting better," Angela chimes in, now approaching a little closer to place her hand on top of his and gently squeezing.

But Gabriel wants none of this. He retracts his hand sharply, eyes cold and dark as he glares at his two friends. He shoves his elbows underneath himself, pushing against Jack's hand. The other soldier attempts to restrain him, but Reyes grabs the other man and delivers a sharp blow to Jack's collar, forcing him back. Momentary freedom had, Gabe sits upright, chest and back fighting for which one one of them wins in regards to delivering the worse pain. He works through both, dragging himself to the edge of the bed.

Mercy tries to stop him this time, and while she's stronger than she looks, he throws her back. She trips over a chair that was placed at the foot of the bed and falls over, giving him just a second before Jack gets to him-the other soldier slowing his enhanced reactions in order to reduce what injury he can to his friend. Gabriel somehow throws his legs over the edge of the bed and shoves himself off with every intention of _standing_ and _walking_ , proving to his friend's that he's perfectly _fine_. What ends up happening instead is an uncontrolled collapse to the white tile floor. Jack tries to catch him, but he's hampered himself too much. The impact only increases the sheer agony Reyes has been repressing, and the force of it swallows him entirely.

/

"Eet was completely and utterly _reckless_ of you to take 'zat route, Reyes," Gerard Lacroix, Overwatch's overseeing officer, firmly berates, staring steadily at the other man seated in a wheelchair on the far side of his desk. "Why didn't you 'ave Amari scout out ahead?"

It takes every scrap of patience Gabriel has not to turn and wheel this goddamned wheelchair out of the office, but technically Gerard is his boss, and if he likes he job then he has to take this verbal thrashing. "It was the fastest way to get to the objective. People were dying, and I didn't want Ang-I didn't want Ziegler and her team to have to withstand a sustained assault from the Omnics," Reyes responds lowly, the strain of control in his voice is obvious but he doesn't care.

"So why not take 'ze entire team wit' you? 'Zen you could 'ave pushed forward faster and wit' your entire team at your disposal," Lacroix questions firmly, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his obnoxiously expensive hard wood desk and steeples his fingers together.

" _Someone_ needed to protect the people who hadn't escaped the area, yet, and _your_ people seemed pretty useless at the time. Ziegler wanted to help, so I tasked Shimada and McCree to keep her safe," Gabriel coldly explains and feels a quiet swirl of satisfaction in his chest as he sees Gerard's jaw muscles roll, the other man clenching his teeth momentarily before responding.

"Yet another situation you misjudged. Liao had everything under control, which is why 'e sent Ziegler and her team after you-just in time I might add. If she, Shimada, and McCree hadn't arrived when they did, your whole team might not 'ave made it..." Lacroix suggests smoothly, all composure once again. And this time it's Reyes's temper which goes.

"It was _my_ mistake so _I_ took the fall for it!" Gabriel snarls, leaning forward a little in the wheelchair, grateful that he just took another pain pill before wheeling himself into this office. "That's _it_. Everything turned out _fine_ and it _won't_ happen again!"

"In that, at least, you are correct, Reyes," the Frenchman responds steadily, with a note of foreboding in his voice that makes the darker-skinned man go dangerously still.

"What do you mean?" Gabe demands lowly, eyes narrowed.

"You've taken 'zis team far, Gabriel," Lacroix begins, trying to take a friendlier tone now. "You took a small 'andful of soldiers from all over 'ze world, men and women who 'ad never worked together before, and forged 'zem into a team. You were 'ze only soldier we 'ad at 'ze time who 'ad any chance of success. And you succeeded enormously. Your leadership 'as taken Overwatch far. But many times your leadership style 'as been called into question. 'Zis is just the most recent incident in which your reckless decisions 'ave put 'ze squad into jeopardy."

Reyes sits there in absolute silence, his gaze so fierce and dark a lesser man might have died on the spot. But not Gerard Lacroix. He speaks with the steady authority of a man used to being treated with respect. He is a dignified man, a decorated military leader, but right now none of that matters to Gabriel. This is the man who is stripping away the only thing he has left in this world... A world that's only ever _always_ taken and _taken_ from him. And it can't let him have just this _one_ thing...

"You 'ave come far, but I t'ink now Overwatch needs a new kind of leadership. John Morrison displayed skill and dedication when you were out of commission with your injury. 'E took excellent command of the situation and utilized 'ze abilities of 'is soldiers well. You should be proud of your friend's accomplishments."

Gabriel says nothing. He knows if he even unlocks his jaw and opens his mouth he is going to scream obscenities at his commanding officer until he can no longer speak. He'll scream and rant and definitely say some personal things he'll regret later. But it is all he can do to sit in this god _damned_ wheelchair in absolute silence, hands gripping the armrests so tight he feels like he's either going to crumple the steel-reinforced aluminum frame or break all the bones in his hands.

Gerard doesn't seem to expect anything more from the other man, but he does heave a quiet sigh, like he had been hoping for a better response and has instead been disappointed. "It's a lot to take in, I know. I've already discussed it with Morrison a little, so you won't have to be 'ze first one to tell 'im."

It's almost impossible to withhold the outraged, disbelieving sound that wells up inside Reyes chest, but somehow he manages it. His world is collapsing around him, and he doesn't think he's ever felt so much rage bottled inside his chest as he does right now. It is so intense, Gabe can feel himself shaking. Still, he keeps absolutely silent, which Gerard seems to take in stride.

"Alright. Well, you look tired. I'll let you get some rest. Also, don't forget about 'ze awards ceremony in two weeks. Dismissed," Lacroix announces, giving Reyes the courtesy of at least stand up and striding around the desk to open the door to his office for the man in the wheelchair.

Reyes just holds himself upright-a little desperate in his need to remain dignified and in control-taking a long moment before he can remove his hands from the buckled arm rests in order to turn the chair around and wheel himself out in absolute silence, making no move at all to pay his commanding officer even a look of acknowledgement. He simply can't right now.

He wheels himself along in furious silence, ignoring the agonizing pain of his own labored breathing. He makes it all the way to the privacy of his own quarters and locks the door before letting himself scream. He shouts and hollers and bellows until he can barely make any sound at all. Until he can't breathe. Until his chest is in so much pain even the shallowest breath feels like it is going to tear his tattered self to pieces.

And in the silence that follows, he feels the seed of a burning hatred settle.

/

" _Bonne apres-midi._ Good afternoon. I would like to t'ank everyone for being 'ere for such an important ceremony, in which we are able to commend two brave soldiers for 'zeir heroics during 'zese trying times.

In a time fraught wit' unspeakable acts of violence and bloodshed, a group of 'eroes has risen above all others to save us from 'ze Ominic Crisis. 'Ze Public knows 'zem as Overwatch. To me, 'zey are 'ze best of friends. And we are 'ere to 'onour two of 'zeir best and brightest.

I would like to first recognize Overwatch's team leader, Sergeant First Class Gabriel Reyes. 'Zis man rose against great odds time and time again, taking 'is team faster and farther 'zan anyone could 'ave possibly 'oped for. During Operation Helheimr, in the Siege of Frankfurt, Sergeant First Class Reyes and 'is team were rushed by an enemy combatant wit' a pair of live grenades. Risking life and limb, Gabriel Reyes jumped on the grenades in order to save 'zose of his comrades 'zat were wit' him at 'ze time."

Gerard Lacroix gestures to the dark man in U.S. Army Dress Blues, back straight as Reyes remains seated in a wheelchair, chilly gaze settled on the man at the podium.

"Today, on behalf of 'ze President of 'ze United States, I would like to award Sergeant First Class Gabriel Reyes wit' 'ze Purple Heart, which is awarded to people who 'ave been wounded or killed in action against an enemy of 'ze United States. 'Is 'eroic acts on April 3, 2039 are now to be recognized today."

The Frenchman turns from the podium, with a purple medal in hand. Gabriel wheels himself forward with a silent groan of effort. Jack had, before the service began, offered to help his friend and push his chair when it came time to accept his medal, but Reyes had turned him down with a snarl which had caught the other soldier off-guard. Gerard leans forward to carefully pin the medal to Gabriel's lapel before extending his hand to shake.

Reyes would much prefer to tell the man who is taking his team from him to fuck off. He can't do that, though. Well. He could, but it wouldn't go well for him. He's been preparing himself for this moment for the past two weeks but even now he hesitates for a split second before forcing himself to shake hands briefly with Gerard Lacroix. An aid hands him a decorative box with his uniform ribbon inside as the crowd in the ballroom applauds. He then turns his chair around to wheel himself off stage. In the background, he hears the Frenchman continue.

"And now, I would like to recognize another amazing 'ero. Without his exemplary actions under extreme conditions of combat, we wouldn't have Sergeant First Class Reyes, or many of 'ze other members of Overwatch. 'Zis man 'as performed above and beyond 'ze call of duty more times 'zan I can adequately give 'im credit for, and so it is with 'ze greatest of pleasures that I am 'onoured to present to Staff Sergeant John Morrison, on behalf of 'ze President of 'ze United States, the Silver Star Metal, which is 'ze t'ird-highest military decoration of valor possibly awarded to members of 'ze Armed Forces.

Staff Sergeant Morrison is, without a doubt, the pinnacle of what any soldier should aspire to become. Selfless and 'umble, 'zis man as proved himself a loyal and steadfast friend to each and every one of his fellow soldiers, each and every one of 'zem confiding in me their high opinion of 'zis man before us, 'zis afternoon."

Gerard turns to look at Jack, whose been standing at relaxed attention next to the same spot Gabriel had waited. Reyes watches off-stage, rage churning inside of him, as he watches the man he thought was his best friend walk up to accept the white, blue, and red stripped medal from their commander. Gabe thought Jack would never question him unnecessarily, never go behind his back, never screw him over, but there he stands, smiling broadly as he shakes Gerard Lacroix's hand. He knows an agreement between them is being sealed right here, right now, spoken or otherwise. He's just lost Overwatch, the only thing that has ever really been _his_ in a life that has only ever done it's level-best to fuck him over.

It's enough to break what little is left of Gabriel Reyes bruised and battered heart...


End file.
